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Boyfriends and girlfriends have come and gone, but my friends with benefits have stood the test of time. That’s longer than I predict my first marriage will last.And while I can’t imagine being with my Cuba date “for real”—I mean, he’s a low-key homeless anarchist who once took me on date to his Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting; there are red flags—I still value our relationship immensely.

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When your man comes home at the end of the day and is in caveman mode, you don’t take it personally. The big things are more easily handled, especially because there isn’t a backlog of resentment and anger over previous unresolved issues. I do suggest that if you haven’t read it yet that you check out his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert.

And when your woman just wants to talk and be heard, you are happy to listen because you know she just needs an ear. It includes excellent tips and guidance on creating and sustaining intimate relationships.

The importance of sex in a healthy relationship cannot be understated. See, as a guy, it’s definitely one of the most important things if not THE most important thing. On the other hand, many women would say it’s just as important, but may be more likely to overlook the issue if everything else in the relationship is going well. It bonds and connects two people in ways that few other things can. What’s really happened is that there has been a union between two people that transcends time and space. But, heck, it sure does mean that it helps bring us together. I know many women may be saying that they just can’t have sex when they don’t feel close to their partner. Consider that the simple act of saying “yes” to your partner, and to passion, may begin to shift the dynamic.

Here’s a simple way to sum things up: Men often choose a woman based upon the sex (or the prospect of it), and end up falling in love; while generally choose a man based upon the love they feel, and end up enjoying sex. If you’re both honoring each other correctly, sex will most likely help you feel closer to your love.

I know that “all” is a total generalization, but you get my point. Back to my marriage, there were often times when we had fought or just felt distance between us.