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Tore my heart out and left it lying on the kitchen floor so that anybody who wasn’t too busy stabbing me in the back could stomp it into the no-wax vinyl tiles that I myself laid down at a savings of more than two thousand dollars.

You are now dating my ex-wife, and her lawyer, my lawyer, and a state judge have all informed me in writing that you have a legal right to do so. I’m not a blackmailing pickpocket doubletalking divorce attorney, so I don’t know the technicalities.

Once upon a time, callow young men almost always met their dates' dads.

This ritual vetting was an important part of protecting the human species from random romantic mistakes.

And now, one suspects, the show will pretty quickly fade.