Speed dating jokes


Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV. There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Research indicates that children smile or laugh 400 times per day, adults smile or laugh 15 or less times per day and think negative ideas ¾ of the time.

The chicken not only shattered the windshield but also went right through and made a hole on the back wall of the engine cab – the unscathed chicken’s head popping out of the hole. After serving his company for many years, he happily retired.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. Chuck Norris bites frost Remember the Soviet Union?

The device was a gun that launched a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.